


Everything I Did to Get to You

by Aloha_Wolves



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: BECAUSE I CAN DAMNIT, Demisexual Eddie Diaz, M/M, Pansexual Buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:15:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25924231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aloha_Wolves/pseuds/Aloha_Wolves
Summary: Eddie realizes some very important things while he tries not to drown. Set during and after “Eddie Begins”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 183





	Everything I Did to Get to You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, y’all. It’s been approximately 95 thousand years since I last wrote anything so... be gentle. There may end up being more to this, we’ll see where the boys take me. Title is from a song of the same name by Ben Platt- a very Buddie song, clearly.

When Eddie started at the 118, no one had prepared him for the team that would become his family.

That included one Evan “Buck” Buckley.

Despite all the posturing his first day, Buck’s ended up as the person Eddie can’t live without. He’d been there with him through some of the worst days of his life, and Eddie’s proud to say that he’s been there through the same for Buck. Shannon’s death, the goddamn tsunami, the ladder truck and everything else they’ve been through has brought the two of them closer than he’d ever expected to find himself with another person. Hen constantly laughs at them, ribbing Eddie quietly for the open affection he’s never been good at hiding and never quite pushing him to reveal it to Buck- always quick to remind him that it’ll go better than he thinks it will. She and Bobby are the only ones on the team who know he’s not exactly straight, despite the outward appearance that a conservative life in Texas and as a soldier had made sure he projected. His parents barely approve of him as a parent, he can only imagine the hell they’d unleash if they realized their precious son was as likely to love a man as he was a woman. His sisters didn’t mind his demisexuality, frequently teasing that they understood so much more of his reticence in high school when it came to dating and wondering still what had drawn him to Shannon.

It’s not a question he thought he could articulate, but part of him wondered how much of that is the oxygen loss ( _idiot_ , dropping his tank in hopes of more speed over the limited boost the remaining breaths would gain), and the majority of his mind was focused on making it back to the people who matter most to him in the world: Christopher and Buck. Truthfully, his sun and air, what he needs to be able to breathe and function as a person at all anymore. Chris had been that way since he was born, despite the terror of having a kid to begin with, much less the challenges of a kid with CP. But Buck… Eddie’s still not sure quite when Buck managed to reach the same level of importance as Chris. There've been so many moments where the blond’s made himself utterly, uniquely, useful and proven to be exactly what Eddie needed over the two and a half years they’ve been paired together. All Eddie knew now is that he was going to make it out of this fucking tunnel and back to his partner and his son if it’s the last thing he did.

He just prayed it wouldn’t be.

Swimming with 45 pounds of gear isn’t easy, but Eddie’s always been a determined, stubborn man, and he’s already proven unafraid to tell Death to fuck right off and let him get back to his family. It’s cold, which the medic part of him knew wasn’t good, and his air is rapidly running out when he finally makes a turn, a hint of moonlight pulling him away from the memories of Buck and Christopher that are all that’s keeping him moving. 

Surface. 

Air.

_Buck_.

God only knew what kind of bullshit his best friend had gotten into while he’d been trying not to drown- and Eddie can’t quite help the tired grin on his face as he hauled his exhausted body onto shore and stumbled towards the lights that he knew would have warmth, safety, and his team. He’s due for a conversation with one bullheaded blond, and he doesn’t want to know what kind of shit he’s going to get from the team for cutting his line. Bobby will definitely be pissed. Buck’s usually the reckless one of the two, not that it’s stopped Eddie from pulling ridiculous stunts every once in a while- Buck still bitched about how unfair his little Spiderman routine was. Finally, he made it into the circle of light where every ounce of rescue team- his and the other crews- are trying to figure out how to find him: thermal scanning from what he can hear.

  
“Might be hard. I’m pretty cold,” he joked, voice _wrecked_ from lack of oxygen and the harshness of the well water. Buck and Bobby grab him before he can fall over, Buck threading their fingers together tightly and crying while laughing breathlessly. Eddie let his weight crash into Buck, knew he’d be okay as long as he’s got Evan at his side, even as Chim and Hen swarm over with thermal blankets, cutting the soaked and ruined gear away from him while the rest of the rescue team cheered and started to pack up.   
He made a half conscious crack about a date on Friday- Buck’s just as aware of the Show and Tell Eddie’s been apprehensive as all hell about, and it’s worth the ache in his throat to hear him snort in response.

It didn’t take long before Hen and Chim packed him up into the ambulance, Buck’s promise to meet him at the hospital the only thing keeping Eddie from completely refusing to go. Logically, yes, he just swallowed who know what the fuck in that water, not to mention the potential hypothermia and pneumonia, but it doesn’t stop the ache in his chest at being separated right now. After everything he just went through to get back to his partner, having to watch that glowing expression of pure relief fall off Buck’s face the second the ambulance pulled away was almost harder than fighting his way back to the surface was. Hen patted Eddie’s knee reassuringly, knowing all too well how he felt and the struggle of separation after a call like this- she doubted she’d ever forget the ambulance ride to the hospital with the two of them after the ladder truck incident. At least this time there isn’t the threat of amputation and deeper tragedy- they’re all relatively whole and in one piece.

The ride to the hospital’s quick enough, Hen and Chim monitoring Eddie carefully and poking him to keep him awake until they arrive. Fortunately, the team waiting for them just inside the ER doors is familiar enough and Hen cracked a grin when she spotted Ezra- an demi nurse she’d met before, when Buck was in for his embolism a few months before- and is thus prepared for the shenanigans that always follow her boys around.  
  


“Hen! Which one of the idiots am I getting tonight? All I got was the 118 was bringing in one of their own, _again_ ,” Ezra complained playfully the second the ambulance doors opened, before she caught sight of Eddie wrapped up in about fifteen blankets and sleepily grinning at the team of nurses. “Ah. Edmundo, lovely to have you back. It’s been what, six months?” She rolled her eyes as Hen and Chimney unloaded Eddie out of the ambulance and Ez could take over. The other nurses around her snort, used to the sarcasm after nearly a year of working with the 118’s various catastrophes- Ez had been on shift for a third of them by now.

  
“Kid got st-stuck in a well, had to get him out. Got a little wet,” Eddie hummed, voice still low and raspy. Several of the nurses made cooing noises as they moved around him, checking the IV’s and his temperature. Ezra just snorted again and shook her head as they hauled Eddie into the hospital proper, wheeling him up to a room and reaching over to ruffle his damp hair. 

“Explains the smell at least. Tweedle Dee comin’ too, I presume?” She asked, grabbing a fresh chart and starting the notes the doc would need to make his exam quick and painless once they got Eddie situated. It’s not Eddie’s first time here, so it’ll be a little faster since she doesn’t have to ask all the basic questions. “Course he is, y’all are attached at the hip. Tell mama what you managed to do to yourself this time,” she ordered, tapping her glasses with the pen and nudging Eddie’s knee. He grinned sleepily at her, still a little cold and out of focus. She huffed a little as the other nurses got him into a room and headed back to work on other patients, knowing Ezra would take care of Eddie until Buck and Bobby got there.

Eddie gave her a brief run down of what happened- not including that he’d cut his line in order to save the kid. He didn’t regret the choice, but he knew he’d be getting enough shit about it from Buck and the rest of the team to not get it from someone who didn’t always get the circumstances. Not that it stopped Ez from squinting at him like she knew he was bullshitting her, but she didn’t press. 

“Moron. Give me five to get Dr. Harvey in here, don’t fall asleep. Be prepared for a shitload of antibiotics,” Ezra grumbled, squeezing Eddie’s calf before she goes to leave the room and nearly is trampled by Buck and Bobby, both of whom are muddy and looking exhausted. “Easy, boys. He’ll probably be fine. Bumps, bruises, maybe a cold, but mostly fine. Doc’ll be in soon to verify,” she promised, patting Buck’s shoulder as she passed. Buck waved and immediately sat down next to Eddie, grabbing his forearm through the blankets and smiling up at him. Bobby hummed thoughtfully and took the other chair, keeping his distance carefully and watching the two with an amused little smile. Eddie relaxed a little now that Buck’s in the room, body tilted towards his partner and breath coming a little easier.

“I checked on Abuela and Christopher, they’re both fine. Worried about you, but doin’ okay. Promised I’d be by in the morning to do breakfast for the little man before we came here to spring you,” Buck murmured, noting the way Eddie relaxed even more at the reassurance. They’re both too familiar with the hospitalization process to be hopeful Eddie will be released tonight, especially given the circumstances and the lack of a water sample.

“Thanks, man. I know Chris’ll be more relaxed if he’s got his Bucky with him in the morning. Abuela wasn’t too upset about having to keep him overnight? We were supposed to be off shift a few hours ago.” Eddie’s voice is low, and Buck leaned in a little closer to make sure he’s getting every word. Honestly, at this point he’s just grateful Eddie’s alive and that no one’s gotten him alone to tell him what an ass Buck managed to make of himself when the tunnel collapsed.

“Nah, she’s good. Worried about her Eddito, but otherwise okay.” Buck squeezed Eddie’s forearm reassuringly and nodded, ignoring that Bobby’s even in the room for a moment as he focused on the warmth of Eddie under his hand.

“Aw. How cute,” Ezra teased as she walked back into the room, the doctor on her heels and looking harried. She winked at the two of them as Buck yanked away like he’d been burned, a blush coloring both of their cheeks while Eddie shot her a dirty look. Luckily, Dr. Harvey’s used to such antics from first responders, and calmly kicks everyone but Ezra out of the room while he does his examination and administers the forewarned antibiotics. It only took a few minutes before Buck and Bobby are cleared to be back in the room, now with a pouting and exhausted Eddie and a deeply amused Ezra.   
“You can take him home in an hour. Just wanna make sure the antibiotics won’t make him puke and then he’s on to you for observation,” she informed them both, noting that Bobby’s texting more than really listening and the hint of blood on Buck’s hands. “Buckaroo, lemme see these hands. You do something stupid, get hurt?” She flipped her hands out, setting Eddie’s chart back on the end of the bed and snapping her fingers at the guilty look the blond sent Eddie.

“Uh… Got a little dig crazy when Eddie got stuck. Might have cut myself on something,” Buck admitted, ignoring the huff from Bobby at that. 

“Understatement. You’re both taking a few days off for recovery- no, Buck, you can’t argue. You’re apparently his observational dictator, I’m not about to argue. We’ve got your shifts covered, we’ll see you both at the station Wednesday and no sooner.” Bobby ordered, pocketing his phone and patting Buck on the shoulder before heading out the door with a wave to Eddie. Ezra hummed consideringly as she checked over Buck’s hands, pointedly not acknowledging the look on Eddie’s face as he glared at Buck.   
  
“Well, at least you aren’t still on the anticoagulants, so we don’t have to worry about that. You just caught a nail, gave yourself a couple of cuts. Bandaid when you get home, keep it clean. Go wash up, I got Eddie pie for a few minutes,” she murmured, squeezing Buck’s hands before shooing him into the bathroom and turning to smirk at Eddie. He just pointed at her and sighed heavily.

  
“Don’t. He’s… dumb, when we get hurt. Would have done the same if it was Bobby, Hen or Chim,” Eddie grumbled, thumping his head back against the pillows as Ez laughed and shook her head.   
  
“You keep telling yourself that, sugar. Boy’s so into you, he’s basically living in your ribcage. And you’re just as bad.” She sat on the edge of the bed and smiled softly, letting the smugness fade for a moment before she glanced at the bathroom door and lowered her voice. “I get it, okay? It’s hard to find people who love us the way we are. But Buck’s a good one, and he loves you just as much as you do him. Don’t worry so much about it. I have a feeling you two aren’t as incompatible as you think.” She winked again as she stood up, Buck emerging from the bathroom and looking a little confused to see the two of them so close. Of course, he doesn’t know that Ez and Eddie had talked here and there over the last few months about the uniqueness of being demi and in love with people who weren’t. It’s reassuring for Eddie to know he’s not alone, to know that at least with Buck… There’s a chance. Ezra’s made it work with her best friend, another demisexual tattoo artist she’d met back home and their aro-ace roommate.

“We good?” He asked quietly, noting the soft look on Eddie’s face as Ezra nodded and turned to leave.   
  
“All good. I’ll be back in a bit with his discharge papers. Behave, boys.” She grinned and left the room, leaving the two men alone. Eddie picked at the blankets, shivering a little before he glanced up at Buck a little shyly.   
  
“Any chance you grabbed me some dry clothes?”

  
“Oh! Yeah, shit. Sorry, fuck, you’ve gotta be freezing,” Buck swore quietly as he grabbed the bag Eddie hadn’t even noticed him bring in with him- could have been Bobby, he wasn’t exactly paying attention to Captain Boring while Buck’s in the room and all but glowing in relief that he’s okay. Hell, even Ezra’s usual muted punk look gets ignored when Buck’s around.

“Just a little. Not so bad now. Heated blankets, warmed IV, but my underwear are… admittedly soaked. Be nice to be dry before it gets more uncomfortable,” Eddie mumbled, shrugging a little. Buck immediately snorted a little, trying to hide how much the thought of Eddie, wet boxers plastered to that impressive body (had it happened in literally any other circumstance than this), affected him.

“Gotcha. Grabbed your sweats and a spare shirt, but I think… you might be outta luck on the underwear. Sorry, Eds, didn’t think to swing by the house for clothes. Do you even _have_ spare underwear at the station?” Buck teased, raising an eyebrow at the faint blush coloring Eddie’s cheeks. “Oho, maybe you do. Man, seriously? How did I not know that? Where do you even hide them in your locker, cuz I definitely didn’t see them!”   
  
“Don’t act like that, it comes with havin’ a kid and doing a job that can get gross sometimes, alright? Think about it, Ev, how often do we get rained on or soaked in mud, water, or other nasty shit because of a call? It just makes sense to include boxers in my spares. There’s a pack in the top of my locker.” Eddie argued, folding his arms across his chest as Buck laughed, shaking his head as he piled Eddie’s clean clothes out of the bag onto the bed. 

  
“Good point. I’ll pack some for next time, now that I know where to look. You wanna try showering before you change, or wait until we get home?” Buck asked, nodding towards the bathroom with a wicked little smile on his face. Eddie just rolled his eyes as he got up from the bed- carefully, so as not to dislodge the IV- and flipped Buck off before disappearing into the bathroom to take a lukewarm shower to get the worst of the sewer crud off and change.

Unfortunately for Eddie, it’s not until after he’s stepping out of the shower and dried off that he realizes he left the clothes Buck brought for him out on the bed. With Buck.

Fuck.

Just as he’s gearing up mentally to ask Buck to pass him his clothes, the man himself knocked and quietly opened the door a little.  
  
“You.. forgot the clothes. Sorry, I’m not looking, I swear,” Buck mumbled, one hand coming through the gap in the door with the pile of clothes and the other covering his eyes. It’s a gesture Eddie can barely see through the gap, and yet it’s got his heart tripping in his chest, because seriously? How cute is this man allowed to be?

“Not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before, Buck. Station’s not the most private space,” Eddie teased, liking the blush on Buck’s cheeks far more than he really should. Buck just snorted a little at that, shaking his head with his eyes still covered.  
  
“Take your damn clothes before I throw them out the window, asshole. Not all of us get to have a naturally amazing ass to show off,” Buck complained, Eddie grabbing the bundle of his clothes and grinning at the banter. It’s reassuring and warm, so them it soothes the nerves from Ezra mentioning that Buck’d been hurt.   
  
“You busy lookin’ at my ass much, Evan? That what made you get hurt today?” Eddie asked, tone a little more seriously as he carefully got dressed around the IV. He can hear Buck swearing under his breath.

“Look, you’ve got a nice ass, I like looking on occasion. Don’t judge me. It’s not like you don’t know you’re stupidly pretty. And no, that’s not why I got my little scratches today. I’m fine, don’t worry about me, Mr. Reckless,” Buck fussed, sprawling back into the chair by Eddie’s bed and staring up at the ceiling while Eddie emerged from the bathroom.

“Then how’d you get hurt.” Eddie’s tone demanded no argument or bullshit as he sits back on the bed, eyes locked on Buck’s face and cataloging exactly how exhausted his best friend looks. Worn thin, like Eddie hasn’t seen him look since the tsunami.

“I uh. Might have had a panic attack when the tunnel collapsed and you’d cut your fucking line, like some heroic asshole. Lost my shit completely, screaming your name and started digging at the ground barehanded like that’d get me to you any faster. Bobby and Hen had to yank me up and outta there before I went down too, no one was sure how stable the ground was.” Buck’s voice is quiet and a little rough, embarrassed by how much he’d revealed. Like Eddie hasn’t gone and lost his shit spectacularly when Buck’s been hurt on call since he’s been back on duty.

Because frankly… what Buck just described is not the actions of someone losing their best friend.

  
That is someone losing their lover, losing the person they cherish above all else.

Eddie’s a little dumbstruck, and he knew he’s gawking at Buck like an absolute idiot. But, sue him, he felt a bit like he got hit over the head with a two by four.

“You… fucking hell, Buck. What were you thinking? You could have gotten seriously hurt,” Eddie whispered, trying to readjust his worldview to this new information. The only person Eddie’s ever seen Buck be this intense about in the entire time they’ve known each other is Christopher, and this is blowing his mind a little.

“I wasn’t, okay? All I knew was you were down there, could have been hurt or- or fucking _dead_ , and I was stuck up there, couldn’t help, because you cut your fucking line!” Buck snapped, leaning forward and blowing out a heavy breath. Eddie flinched back a little, wincing at the volume and how the movement tugged at aching muscles, and Buck immediately looked contrite for raising his voice.

“Buck… I was okay. I’m sore, but I _am_ okay, whole and safe. I knew you’d be up there, fighting like hell to get down to me. Just like I was fighting like hell to get back to you and to Christopher.” Eddie shifted to the edge of the bed, putting a gentle hand on Buck’s knee and squeezing lightly. “All I had to keep me moving down there was you. Almost worse than being- back in the fuckin’ desert. Reminded me of my priorities, at least. You and Chris. That’s all I need, and that was what I was fighting for.”

Buck nearly sobbed before he sat next to Eddie on the bed and hugged him tightly, pressing his forehead against Eddie’s broad chest. Eddie hugged him back just as tightly, rubbing his cheek against muddy and damp blond curls.

  
“Dude, that is… so not platonic. Just so you know,” Buck choked out, laughing wetly and squeezing Eddie a little tighter.   
  
“Yeah, well… neither is screaming my name and clawing at the ground. Kinda gettin’ the idea we’re not as platonic as we thought, huh?” Eddie murmured, smile soft as he tipped his head back to look down at Buck. Buck hummed low in his throat and nodded.

“Maybe not so platonic, no. I’m pan, you know that, right?” Buck admitted, biting his bottom lip as he met Eddie’s eyes. Eddie smirked just a little and nodded, lifting a hand to gently tug Buck’s lip out from between his teeth.

“Yeah. Hen mentioned it, when we were talking about LGBT firefighters. I’m… not straight. If I say I’m demisexual, do you have an idea of what I’m talking about?” Eddie wouldn’t be offended if Buck didn’t- it’s not the most common thing to know about unless you know someone who is or who’s on the asexual spectrum. Buck smiled a little and nodded, sitting up and leaning back from Eddie’s hold.  
  
“I might’ve overheard you talking to Ez one day at the station. You were talking to her and Gabby about getting in for some ink and you guys mentioned that she had a demi flag. I was curious what the hell it was, so I looked it up.” Buck admitted, grinning at Eddie’s laugh. He’s all too familiar with Buck’s Wikipedia binges, has woken up to find Buck sacked out on his couch with his phone plastered to his face on more than one occasion.

“Okay. And that’s… not a big deal for you? That we’re not going to be having sex that often, if at all?” Eddie mumbled, remembering how much of a breaking point it had been with Shannon once he’d gotten back- to a point, he’d sucked it up and forced himself to be “in the mood” more than a few times to make her at least a little happier. Buck looked so offended at the thought that for a second, Eddie’s sure he’d tanked this before their romantic relationship can even begin.  
  
“Eddie, I love you. I fell in love with you without sex on the table, and I’m more than happy to love you without sex on the table for the rest of my life. I know my reputation kinda doesn’t support that and all, but you and Chris are worth it.” Buck took Eddie’s hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles and his smile was soft as he looked him over. “I’ve loved you for a slightly ridiculous amount of time, Eds. My hand and I will be just fine,” he promised. Eddie snorted a little before he leaned in and kissed Buck’s cheek lightly, letting himself linger there for a moment. Even after a hellish day like this, there’s still traces of Buck’s shampoo and cologne that are unbelievably soothing.

“I’m not saying never. There are definitely points I enjoy sex, but they’re not all that often. I just… don’t want another partner where that’s not okay.” Eddie didn’t like speaking ill of the dead, but their incompatibility sexually had been a huge reason Eddie knew Shannon had wanted to leave him again. Buck rolled his eyes and cupped Eddie’s cheek with the hand not holding his, that smile turning just a little sharper.  
  
“I’m not Shannon, Eds. For one, I actually listen when you speak, and I speak enough Spanish to know what you’re muttering under your breath. Two, I really don’t care if we don’t have sex. I’ve got enough… things to deal with my needs just fine. Hasn’t been an issue yet, and I’ve been waiting on you for almost a year.” Buck leaned in just a little closer, intent clear before he paused. “It okay if I kiss you now? I know today’s been kinda gross and it’s been like twelve hours since either of us have had a chance to brush our teeth.” 

“Think you should be more worried about what’s in my mouth than yours, Buck,” Eddie snorted, shaking his head before he kissed Buck slowly. It’s better than he’d let himself think it could be, not wanting to get his hopes up- but of course it is. Buck knows him better than anyone else on the planet, and truly doesn’t seem to care about his flaws. 

A clearing throat behind them yanked Eddie away from a dazed Buck, who whimpered a little and tried to chase his lips before Ezra’s laugh registered and he whipped his head around to look at her with a bashful little grin.

“About damn time, guys. Just need some signatures and y’all are good to go home and continue your make out session.” She’s got a huge smirk on her face, eyes bright behind her glasses as she winked at Eddie while handing the paperwork to Buck. Buck just hummed happily, quickly jotting his signature everywhere it needed to go to get Eddie the hell out of this hospital.

“Perfect. Now don’t let me see you two here for something stupid for at least another six months. That includes sex related antics, Buckley,” Ez threatened, taking the paperwork back and tapping the blond lightly on the top of his head with the clipboard. Eddie laughed, shaking his head and pointing at the demisexual flag pin on her scrubs.

  
“Says one demi to another. We’ll see how it goes.” He smiled as she leaned around Buck to give Eddie a hug, nodding.

“I know. I’m glad y’all figured it out. Now get the hell outta my hospital.” Ez waved and left after detaching Eddie’s IV, yelling at another nurse down the hallway to get her a goddamn coffee before she fell over. Eddie laughed quietly to himself before looking over at Buck and offering a hand.

“Let's go home.”


End file.
